(‘Lenny & Me’ refers to myself and my constant companion – chronic illness and disabilities with the lungs in severe asthma/COPD as well as anxiety. ‘Lenny’ is a name I gave my chronic illness because giving it a name I find it easier to deal with.)
I will begin the new year by repeating here what I posted on my personal Facebook page on Sunday.
“It is time to put a close to 2022……..the year of 2022 can now be put to rest with all its memories, highlights, lowlights and all quickly disappearing in the mirror behind me……..
Working at leaving any and all regrets, hurts, frustrations and pains (and trust me there have been many, many of these) from 2022 in a file somewhere in the gray mass they claim is my brain…..hoping to file it all away in such manner that it keeps any of it from seeping back into the mainstream of my mind and life……sealing it tight and forgetting to where the key may be……..
Now it is on to 2023 – with the key being first and foremost to put any and all anxiety, pain and distance from family and friends behind us while hoping to rebuild the closeness among many that I may have had……
2023 is less than 12 hours old and full of hope, faith, love, and trust that the new year ahead will be filled with much gratitude, good/great attitude, and an over filling amount of love – – HAPPY, HAPPY BLESSED & PROSPEROUS NEW YEAR TO ALL !!!”
As much as I would like to say I had a most wonderful Christmas, I did not. One thing 2023 will bring will be another fresh start.
While I try every year to enjoy the Christmas holiday as a whole, and this year as in past years I did get it off to a grand start by getting the Christmas trees and lights up shortly after Thanksgiving.
As in past years the joys of the holiday season went on for several weeks until we reached the final three or four days before the day itself – Christmas Day!
I grew up within a family reach on Christmas tradition, much of course helped by the fact that I was a preacher’s kid and to be honest with you – it is hard not to have the Christmas spirit and traditions when doing so.
Between schools and the church my dad would be serving having their Christmas/Holiday programs and then the unbelievably memorable Christmas Eve service my dad would conduct which was always followed by visits from grandparents on both sides of the family tree for Christmas Day itself – yep, it was easy to be in constant Christmas spirit mode until several weeks into the new year that always lay ahead.
But unfortunately, those same traditions and experiences also played a role in my consistently having issues with the day itself.
While during my first marriage we worked somewhat at keeping many of the traditions such as opening presents going one person, one present at a time from youngest to oldest, even that began to wear eventually as I went through a divorce.
Our yearly holiday visits to the grandparents (my folks) for my two children came to a quick ‘it is not going to happen anymore’ after getting stranded in some kind of nasty winter weather three times in four years.
Getting remarried we tried a couple of years to start some of our own traditions, but by then our combined five children were all becoming adults and doing their own things. When they began to marry and have kids, well we know how they goes.
My parents after they retired continued to stop through sometime between Christmas day and new year’s to have a short Christmas celebration of some sort. But when my mother passed away in 2007, my dad never came through again, instead opted to always go to the Black Hills to my younger sisters.
As half the ten grandkids moved on into adulthood, much the same happened as they wanted to do their thing and most of them did not include a trip to Papa’s and Nana’s.
The 2022 Christmas rolled along well until I had to make a decision between a pair of family members and then my own siblings all doing their own thing, having my oldest not even mention anything about Christmas when we talked on his birthday four days before – I just woke up Christmas morning in an emotional fog that I never found the sunlight out of the entire day.
While the next couple of days went better, it was rough as I did not get a single Christmas phone call greeting from any sibling, grandchild and only one of my two kids. That my friends was a major downer for me.
Could I have called all of them, sure I could have – just as I have every year. But this season it was me needed some comfort and support dealing with no contact with two grandkids, a son and future-daughter-in-law who ignored me despite my living within a couple of miles of them, and really missing the traditions, hugs, music, and just plain unconditional love of my parents and grandparents.
As for me calling all of them, I did lead up to the Christmas day itself by calling nearly two dozen family and friends to wish them a personal, verbal holiday greeting and best wishes since I do not do well with getting cards or family letters out. Interestingly in two of those calls, a couple of friends from my days growing up in Nebraska and Minnesota both mentioned how much they appreciated the way I always tried to keep everyone connected. Unfortunately, it seemed that worked for everyone but me.
So now as the new year gets ready to step into day three already, I look to pick myself up and try new ways of realizing that not all care about others as much as I do, and that just has to be treated as okay while yes, I will always continue to keep my family and friends connected – no matter how much I get nothing in return, because that is just who I am and how I am wired.
And this folks is where ‘Lenny and I’ are to today.
May all have a very happy, blessed and prosperous (both physically, mentally, and faithfully) New Year!
A REMINDER – Do you have any comments or questions about my postings, then feel free to leave a comment on either at this blog, at the email address of firstname.lastname@example.org or on Facebook at https://www.facebook.com/copdtravels/.
ALWAYS REMEMBER (because I have COPD and severe Asthma) – If you or anyone you know have any symptoms involving lung and breathing functionality, and they linger over and over while disrupting a lifestyle – then please ask questions and get it checked out.
With that, I bid to all – smiles, prayers, blessings, and steady breathing – Mr. William.
(Copyright@2022, CrossDove Writers through wheezingaway.com – no part of this write may be used or copied without written permission.)
NOTES & DISCLAIMER: Sometimes we share what may seem like medical information, but we are only giving descriptions and highlights of various aspects of having COPD and/or Asthma and no way do we ever want our information to be considered medical treatment type of information, always consult your physician for more, clearer medical founded information.
Living Today is a series of 40 writings meant to bring comfort to those who battle daily with a chronic illness and/or a disability. Each writing will have a ‘Voice from the Word’, ‘Time for Thought’ and then end with a ‘Moment for Meditation/Prayer’.
Presented by a writer who lives the life as a person battling, sometimes daily, their own chronic illnesses and/or disability.
Just simple writings in simple, layperson language, with the idea of helping others get through something in their own lives as they also battle a chronic illness and/or disability.